Really God?

My life is a cotton-pickin' soap opera!  I'm starting to feel like Job; what's a female version of the name Job?  Joby - just call me Joby.  The day I had been dreading arrived....Amy left this morning so the house is empty of kiddies.  I was counting on work keeping me busy since I would be working full-time for the next two weeks because our Administrator is on vacation and that was working out pretty well until Eric called from San Jose to let me know he was in the ER having tests done because of some back pain that had radiated around to his chest and he was having pain breathing.  Ok, deep breath.....wait for test results.  Then Amy called to say her off-campus (owned by the school) apartment had been trashed by the previous student and was unliveable so they had no place to live tonight.  Begin banging head against the wall....talk thru her options then call the school and raise some good old-fashioned ruckus like only a mother can do when looking out for her child. Begin using all my texting abilities to keep in contact with Eric in the ER and Amy, my homeless daughter in Costa Mesa.   Did I mention Alex had to visit Urgent Care on Friday in Taft because he was starting to get sick??????

Last night I started to read Job because I wanted to see what his reaction had been to trials and testing (of which I think I have almost reached 'expert' status) but I think I'll stop.  I don't think I want to reach the 'boils' section of the story, I'm afraid of what will happen.

This did give me a chance to reflect on how selfish I have been.  I've been thinking so much about how all the kids being gone and Eric being away would affect me - poor Stefanie - empty nest and empty home.  But then I realized how hard this must be for Eric; still in the beginning of grieving our son, away from home (he doesn't like to travel and he likes his own bed), not able to be here to say good-bye to Amy and separated from each other.  We have relied on each other so heavily since Ian's diagnosis and especially toward the end of his life and after his death that to be separated now is painful.  It's surprising how much a simple hug can heal.  There's just something comforting holding someone you love; your breathing slows, your head clears and you can breath again.....I think God designed them to help us heal from heartaches and loss.  I miss our hugs.

But through all this God continues to be in control.  I wander what He's doing, but my priority is to not fail Him in my faithfulness - He has never failed me.  I will not let the devil take away my hope.  All of Eric's test results have come back negative; it's not his heart (wounded as it may be), his lungs are clear, he doesn't have an aneurysm or a blood clot - it looks like a strained/pulled muscle that is pinching a nerve.  Amy's room is being cleaned and scrubbed, the oven fixed and she has a roof over her head tonight thanks to her roommates Aunt AND she handled herself so well - I am so proud of my girl!!

For now, I will plan on pruning my ferns into oblivion, then I will my veg in my chair, watch some Hallmark movies, pet Emmett (who likes me now) and probably eat ice cream - and continue to miss Ian.  The Pity Party is over for today.