Overcoming....

I should be doing our taxes since our extension is almost up, but I'd rather share with you some thoughts from today.

How extraordinary that when we start the day with God, when we spend time in worship through song, when we listen to His word preached, when we fellowship with other Christians and spend time together in prayer, God meets us where we are and reveals more of Himself to us.  I'm being a bit sarcastic because this should all be a 'no brainer'....no time spent with God is wasted.

I always start the day reading 'Jesus Calling' because on more than one occasion it has served as a personal message from Him to me; today was no exception.  "Come to me child when you are weak and weary.  Rest snugly in my everlasting arms."  Today in church we sang "Overcome" which talks about God ability to overcome everything and that all authority and power are His.  It would have been easy to think, "no He didn't, He didn't overcome Ian's cancer."  But I realized He DID overcome Ian's doubts in what was possibly the only way He could have, by showing Ian heaven and what lay ahead of him.  I've mentioned in Caring Bridge Ian's last conversation before he died.  Coming out of a drug-induced stupor, with a voice filled with awe asking, "Is this place for real?"  I will forever remember the delight in his voice and the sheer amazement of whatever it was he was seeing.  Then ending with, "I need to find Michael"  I asked him who Michael was and he replied, "I don't know but I have to find him."  Then I told him to go find Michael; those were my last words to my son.  I believe Michael was sent by God to show Ian the wonders of the heaven he had heard about and believed in as a young boy; to prove to my stubborn son that it was all true and waiting for him.  I think God knew the only way to overcome Ian's doubts was to show him the truth.  So God did overcome.

Then tonight during the evening service, I looked across the church and saw Ashley.  Our association with Ashley is multi-layered.  Ashley had been one of my Starbucks girls while Ian was battling cancer, her mom works with Eric, she had the exact same cancer as Ian but she survived and she helped take care of Ian his last day in the hospital (obviously she wasn't serving him Starbucks, she had started working at Marian as a Nurses Aide) so we obviously had various interactions with Ashley over the last 16 months.  I saw her and she gave me hope because she is a living, breathing symbol that someone CAN beat mediastinal NHL.  I didn't think, "why her and not Ian" which I guess would have been normal but God just filled me with thanksgiving that it is possible for someone to beat this horrible disease.  I thank God her mom didn't have to tell her good-bye.

I can't take the credit for any of this....this is God allowing me to think and understand things I normally wouldn't and rejoice in the parts of my life's tapestry that I can see.  I just have to trust Him for the parts that are still fuzzy and unclear.