Dear Ian

Dear Ian,

So, Dad & I are on our European river cruise and there are reminders of you along each part of our journey.  We brought along our picture of you, taking you with us.  Dad packed your pullover sweater and wears it on chilly nights as we cruise along the Danube.  I saw pictures by that artist you like so much, Gustav Klimt and we ended up buying an umbrella that used some of his works.  I attended a classical concert with piano & violin at Lobkowicz Palace and compared her playing to yours - I liked yours better :-).

Last night we met a really nice couple at dinner, they too have a son you had a rare form of lymphoma but he survived.  When they asked how many kids we had, Dad told them three - as it should be, because you were a very important part of our family.  We told them a little of our story and they told us theirs.  Between our two families and our friend Erle's company looking for cures for cancer, and Deb's mom who died from cancer, we were the oncology table last night.

Then last night I dreamt of you.  I think that's only the 3rd time since you died but this time you were the young man I remember - tall and handsome with a kind heart and a big hug for your mom.  You were still sick but not like you were at the end.  You gave me a big hug (you gave great hugs) and said, "Momma, I'm so sad."  I asked what you were sad about, I know you told me but when I woke up I couldn't remember what you had said.  I remembered the hug though - that was unforgettable and it felt so real.  I think you told me you were sad you had to leave, you're not alone in that Ian; there are many of us who are so sad you had to go.

In a few days we'll be in Vienna and we're attending a Mozart concert that night.  It somehow seems appropriate that will also be the day you were buried two years ago.  Somehow, I think you'd be pleased.

Later on, while we're in Rome we'll visit the places you had on your Roman itinerary.  We'll visit the places you never had a chance to see and we'll see them for you and be carrying you along with us on this journey.

Love you always sweetie,
Mom