Busyness helps

It's been a while since I last posted anything, almost a month. We've been busy....busy is good, busy is a distraction, busy is therapy, busy keeps your mind off the pain, busy gives you purpose.  Part of that 'busyness' has been preparing for Ian's one-man art show at the local community college that is open for most of the month of May.  We've also been busy with other trials that have come our way....life is messy and never smooth it seems.  I've written down lots of thoughts, notes, a letter to God (not that He needed a letter but I needed to write it)....but for now they are tucked away in my computer waiting for my mind, my soul to sort them all out.

Last night was the reception for Ian's art show and it was a really good night.  Eric & I talked about it afterwards and we were both happy the entire evening.....it was like a wonderful vacation and we didn't want it to end.  Between 200-300 people came to the reception to see the opening of Ian's show; a lot of familiar faces and some we had never seen before.  We didn't get a chance to greet everyone but I hope they felt how glad we were to have them join us to celebrate Ian's work.  We think the reception matched Ian's personality - he loved to be with his friends and just visit, hang out, talk about

stuff and that's what last night felt like....hanging out with friends, talking about stuff (mostly Ian and his art obviously - duh!) but it was a happy place to be and that's what we wanted.  We didn't want it to be sad or morose; we wanted to celebrate Ian's talent.  I was surprised at how long some people stayed - I saw them enter and walk around the exhibit then 30 minutes later I would see them walking around again...looking at something they had missed the first time...it was awesome.  I got to hear other artists talking about Ian's technique and how he shaded this or feathered that and the depth of his drawing (I have almost no idea what they're talking about but they do and I love to listen to them).  We don't want cancer to be Ian's life story.....he was so much more than the cancer that killed him.

We got to see Ian's friends again, which we loved....he had such wonderful friends!  I told Eric that I feel better about Ian's legacy because I believe that after I am gone, his close friends will still remember him.  They will remember the impact he had on their lives and somehow that helps in the healing.

Today, Eric & I met with Ian's therapist, Dr. Lussier.  She told us that her way of remembering Ian was every Friday at 1pm she has her phone set to play harp music.....that too, helps in the healing.  She shared with us that Ian had told her how he felt he had grown closer to us during his cancer, how he relied on us and knew how much we loved him.......that was priceless.

We've also been busy planning Amy's wedding; the day she goes from being a Hassett to a Smith.  Next week almost the entire family will travel down to Orange County to watch her graduate, with honors...what a wonderful, thoughtful, funny young woman she has grown into.

Ian's scholarship fund and upcoming fundraiser have also kept us busy.  We've viewed all the scholarship applications, marveled at the talent of these students and finally decided on a winner of the $1,000 which will be announced on May 30th at the Righetti Senior Awards Night.  It's happened quickly and unexpectedly, but we've also expanded and established the Ian Hassett Memorial Art Grant under the umbrella of the Santa Maria Arts Council.  That will allow us to expand our base of applicants and continue to encourage young adults outside of high school to pursue a career in the arts.  His fundraiser is also starting to take shape.  We've decided on an October date; that seemed an appropriate way to celebrate his birthday every year.....it's won't be a birthday party, but it will be a party.

All this busyness is good.  It's helps me slowly digest the questions that still linger, the anger that is ebbing, the sadness that is still very much present.  Busyness helps.